I, Miss Ossim, am fundamentally lazy. I try to pass it off as "efficiency," but if I'm perfectly frank, it all comes down to a deep-seated desire to do as little as possible to achieve my goal, if indeed I have anything so lofty in mind.
That said, I was recently hiking a local nature trail, 4 miles into what would eventually become a 10-mile hike. At this fateful moment, as I neared the top of the tremendously long and steep hill, the album I had been listening to finished, and my mp3 player stopped just in time for me to catch the following snippet of conversation between the hikers descending toward me.
Girl 1: Well, ok, so, you guys know about like the Theory of Relativity and shit, right?
Girl 2: Uh, I think so. I don't know - remind me: is that like everything is relative?
Girl 1: Well kinda, yeah...
At which point I finally got the Hold off and blissfully started the music again, drowning out the pearls of wisdom that would have dropped from the mouth of Girl 1. Part of me really wishes I'd heard her full explanation of the "Theory of Relativity and shit," and the rest of me rejoices that those brain cells are still alive.
I have said this many times and will say it many more, but if you're going to speculate and flail while pretending to speak knowledgeably about a topic you know little to nothing about, either do it privately or be funny. As this particular conversation was only ironically funny to the observer, and was conducted in a public park, it counts as neither. I just pray that neither of them are educators.
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