Miss Ossim, no longer being amongst the target demographic for young-adult literature, has fallen out of touch with the current hot series in said genre (since the end of Harry Potter, anyway). As such, I was completely unaware not only of the existence of a series called Twilight, but also that a new installment was being released this weekend, adding much-needed new material to the oft-overlooked subject of Vampires.
I became painfully aware of it, however, whilst waiting in line for my coffee this morning at what I thought was a safe local haunt.
Two college-aged girls were in line ahead of me, discussing their plans for the evening. One was going to a friend's birthday party, and the other was going to wait in line at Barnes & Noble until midnight in order to be one of the first to get her hands on the new book. Such fanatics tend to look forward to actually reading the book or watching the movie or playing the game - fully enjoying whatever entertainment experience it is for which they are waiting so patiently (and blogging so thoroughly).
Not this one.
Twilight Fan: I'm so stupid - I looked up spoilers for this book on the internet.
Party Girl: What?
Twilight Fan: It said she gets pregnant. That's so stupid: vampires can't get you pregnant!
Miss Ossim (in her head): They can't? Whew!
Ignoring for a moment the fact that this girl was also well outside the target readership, and ignoring the fact that she had not only ruined the book for herself but was also ruining it for everyone in earshot, it struck me as completely absurd that anyone would be arguing such a moot biological point about an imaginary creature, but upon further thought, she might actually have a point. Have you ever heard of a baby vampire? And if vampires never age, then would a baby vampire remain a newborn for all eternity? For that matter, would it be born as a small cluster of cells or a fused gamete? But if the cells managed to split and develop enough to form an actual baby, can you imagine having to nurse a baby vampire? Of course, this might be the perfect opportunity for someone to develop this idea and, for once, expand vampire folklore. I will not be the one. I leave it to you. Just cut me in on the profits.
I became painfully aware of it, however, whilst waiting in line for my coffee this morning at what I thought was a safe local haunt.
Two college-aged girls were in line ahead of me, discussing their plans for the evening. One was going to a friend's birthday party, and the other was going to wait in line at Barnes & Noble until midnight in order to be one of the first to get her hands on the new book. Such fanatics tend to look forward to actually reading the book or watching the movie or playing the game - fully enjoying whatever entertainment experience it is for which they are waiting so patiently (and blogging so thoroughly).
Not this one.
Twilight Fan: I'm so stupid - I looked up spoilers for this book on the internet.
Party Girl: What?
Twilight Fan: It said she gets pregnant. That's so stupid: vampires can't get you pregnant!
Miss Ossim (in her head): They can't? Whew!
Ignoring for a moment the fact that this girl was also well outside the target readership, and ignoring the fact that she had not only ruined the book for herself but was also ruining it for everyone in earshot, it struck me as completely absurd that anyone would be arguing such a moot biological point about an imaginary creature, but upon further thought, she might actually have a point. Have you ever heard of a baby vampire? And if vampires never age, then would a baby vampire remain a newborn for all eternity? For that matter, would it be born as a small cluster of cells or a fused gamete? But if the cells managed to split and develop enough to form an actual baby, can you imagine having to nurse a baby vampire? Of course, this might be the perfect opportunity for someone to develop this idea and, for once, expand vampire folklore. I will not be the one. I leave it to you. Just cut me in on the profits.
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